This post is also known as the “25 things about me” internet meme. I refuse to tag anyone. Enjoy.
- I wish I knew the definition of every word written in Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. And upon my next reading, hope to write everyone of them down in an effort to learn and understand them.
- I wrote a novel once after reading Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer and Chuck Palahniuk’s Choke. Stylistically, it’s a rip off. But writing it saved my life. I’ve also written a poetry chapbook.
- I’m currently studying Kenpo. I studied it 9 years ago in Springfield, Missouri. My wife got me back into it as a 30th birthday present.
- I’m notorious for finishing a thought in my mind before I have typed it out. I’m always adding back in missing prepositions and two-letter words.
- I believe that the story of Adam and Eve is all our human minds are capable of understanding about what really happened. A parable, yes, but still universal truth.
- My wife and I took each other’s last names when we married. She was Hirschy y Salazar and I was Forrest. With our powers combined, it’s Forrest y Salazar. The “y” just means “and.”
- I’m extremely cognizant of how much I want to be loved and I do everything within my power to make it appear otherwise. Truth is, I’d probably take a bullet for just about anyone.
- I wanted to be so much more than I am by the time I turned 30.
- I get angry about the weirdest things. For example, I hate it when my wife asks me to get her something to drink when she has two perfectly good legs to walk to the kitchen and get her own drink. I’m also extremely cognizant of how stupid this behavior is and only recently aware of where it came from.
- I hate water with every coke-riddled drop of blood in my heart.
- I think too much for my own good. Which leads me to start conversational fights because I’ve probably thought the subject through and you haven’t. Fair warning.
- I believe in Christian faith. I also believe in the Democratic Party. Now that I mention it, I like some Republicans too. What I don’t like is equating a Republican vote with a Christan worldview. It’s just not true.
- I feel that swear words are more essential than they are.
- I’m a huge film and music Nazi. In fact, I’ll probably alienate you over it at some point. Just ask my wife and her obsession with Hillsong. Christian music literally makes me grate my teeth. Interestingly enough, the reason why I hate Christian music so much is the same reason for #9.
- I hate the fact that I have to live my life apart from the people I care about. If I could, I’d move them all to Santa Barbara.
- I love my wife more than I let on. Which is why there is a Christmas card of me in a Santa hat on the beach in fucking November. Bonus: I hate the Pacific ocean because it’s always freezing.
- I love beer. I love everything about it. I hate drinking it alone. I’ve discovered I’ll only drink it with friends.
- I want to see a burning bush. In the Biblical sense.
- I can’t stand crowds. They’ve been known to give me anxiety attacks.
- I’m secretly waiting for the Apocalypse.
- I wrote and recorded a song once, and I still have it. But it was horrible and I swear by the Lord Jesus Christ that it’ll never see the light of day.
- Despite having the most loving and attentive of wives, I still feel horribly alone way too often. I’m confident that this won’t change until #18 happens.
- The wife and I are huge Dave Ramsey fans. Probably because his stuff has helped us pay $35K off in debt in the last 2.5 years.
- Having children has never been my idea of happiness. Drinking coffee in Prague is.
- I wrote this list with HTML, because I’m a huge dork.